I am so tired

I am tired. But not tired like when you have had a long day/week at work or at school, a different type of tired. Tired of life. Tired of fleeing away. Tired of feeling lost. Tired of feeling sad. Tired of crying. Tired of not being able to enjoy life to its fullest because of my demons. Tired of feeling alone despite having people who genuinely care for me. Tired of not reminding myself I deserve better. Tired of hurting others and not being aware. I am tired of not being more helpful, of not seeing my worth, of feeling guilty. Tired of feeling ungrateful for not appreciating I am able to wake up every morning, to be healthy and young.

On top of all that, I am also tired of temporary love, temporary relationships, plans, life events… I feel really lost. No purpose, no dreams, no future. Just trapped in the daily now with only one goal, to heal. I am tired of knowing what I need and not being able to make it possible. I am tired of not being brave enough to be more determinant. Tired of trying knowing the outcome will not be beneficial. I am tired of being tired… I am especially tired now that I do not know who I am anymore. Tired of not being able to make sense or know what I need or what I want. Tired of questioning myself for everything. Tired of not understanding what is going on in my life. I am so tired…

tired-of-trying

 

Elba-Kiwinka

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s