I am so tired

I am tired. But not tired like when you have had a long day/week at work or at school, a different type of tired. Tired of life. Tired of fleeing away. Tired of feeling lost. Tired of feeling sad. Tired of crying. Tired of not being able to enjoy life to its fullest because of my demons. Tired of feeling alone despite having people who genuinely care for me. Tired of not reminding myself I deserve better. Tired of hurting others and not being aware. I am tired of not being more helpful, of not seeing my worth, of feeling guilty. Tired of feeling ungrateful for not appreciating I am able to wake up every morning, to be healthy and young.

On top of all that, I am also tired of temporary love, temporary relationships, plans, life events… I feel really lost. No purpose, no dreams, no future. Just trapped in the daily now with only one goal, to heal. I am tired of knowing what I need and not being able to make it possible. I am tired of not being brave enough to be more determinant. Tired of trying knowing the outcome will not be beneficial. I am tired of being tired… I am especially tired now that I do not know who I am anymore. Tired of not being able to make sense or know what I need or what I want. Tired of questioning myself for everything. Tired of not understanding what is going on in my life. I am so tired…





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